Yesterday, I heard a story on CBC about the death of 2 brothers: 1 died of natural causes at the age of 59, the other starved to death because he was a 46 year old man with Downs Syndrome who could not survive one his own. No one, no neighbours, no family checked on the two of them for 2 weeks and the 46 year old fellow died after his brother's heart attack left him alone and incapable of fending for himself. The older brother took on care of his sibling when his mother died. I couldn't find the story in today's papers and missed the link from yesterday's radio news. But what a tragic story.
In light of that, here is a link to a situation in British Columbia:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2010/09/06/bc-rightsremoved.html
An elderly woman was not maintained properly in a hospital facility and her husband's legal power of attorney was stripped from him when he refused to pay the bills because of the lack of care. Obviously, there are elements to the story to which I am ignorant but the problem, again, seems to be a loneliness to the life of the old.
I don't know how to remedy these situations. Institutional care will not work on long term basis; people mean the best, I have to think that, but care becomes a function in a job when it becomes routine; try as much as we want, society cannot pay for the feeling of care, that sense of obligation towards another human being. I know some people are born with that intuition, some are not; our institutions are governed by other principles that don't involve care but are based on money. It is sad but true. It used to be religious institutions could be relied on to provide care for the elderly but, after the revealing horrors of institutional schools, I doubt many would choose to let their elderly live there. The other option, of course, is family care; but, then, as numerous of my posts have demonstrated that is not easy either.
I think about those 2 brothers and wonder if their neighbourhood was as silent as mine is during the day. Everything seems to be going towards institutional care as though, despite evidence to the contrary, it is somehow ideal. In Ontario, kindergarten is now an all-day affair as though a 4 year old spending all day in school is somehow better than being at home. Have families become so awful that it is better for society to interfere than let them have any influence at all? I wonder.
It seems, to me anyhow, that institutions have become the norm for the care of the elderly, the infirm (including mental defect), and the young. I cannot but wonder how those 2 brothers would have done had they been able to be out and about in the neighbourhood; how the old lady would have done had she been allowed to return to her home and die with her husband; how children would be if they could run outside for a while. Of course, I write as though my family is rich and it costs us nothing for me to be home with my children and my mother-in-law; it is so much easier to think that way than to acknowledge the actual costs involved with raising one's children, caring for one's elderly family. I am a bit down. It seems everywhere I turn what I do as a person is diminished in society because it no longer values the care a home offers, the need a secure environment fulfills. I know all my neighbours by name; my children play outside; my mother-in-law drives me crazy--I am a dying breed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Isolation begins with people not wanting to participate in society; what was missing in the family of those two brothers that caused them to be left alone and at the mercy of each other? Why would any parent cause their child to be isolated from their peers!? Millions of ordinary children, as well as physically and mentally challenged adults are excluded from participating in society, mostly because of family's inability to agree or work within the framework of their society. It is not always society's fault when sad events, like the death of those two brothers, happen. Some family do not want to be part of their society because they disagree with the cultural norms practiced. So opting out of society, thus isolating themselves and their families, leaves them isolated and vulnerable, and lacking the skills to interact normally within their extended family, their neighbour and their society. Perhaps the parents of those two men were ignorant of the fact these two men, like all people, need to have friends, caregivers and neighbours. The parents were probable very near sighted and didn't give much thought to how their children would survive without them.
ReplyDelete