On January 4, the matriarch telephoned her friend to see how the woman was doing and found out she was in hospital and wanted no visitors. Today, she telephoned the woman's husband again and found out her friend was dead; she had died three days after the last phone call. What do you say to comfort someone who looks at you and says, "There's no one left. They are all dead. I have no one left to call."
For the most part, the matriarch is well; she is confusingly blind but she is able to walk, manage the stairs, take care of herself and watch the news. So, I make her meals but she does know who Stephen Harper is, Dalton McGinty and she could vote if she really wanted to vote. The matriarch can tell me when she needs candies or chips; she is not too good with the fresh fruit in her room, but can certainly make her bed. I don't know what really amounts to self-sufficiency but my heart goes to someone who is the last of her kind, whose friends have all moved on...
I think Suzanne Somers is wrong; living a long life is pointless if there is no one with whom to share it. Whatever I really think of the nature of the matriarch the point is, at one time, she did have friends and now they are dead. And the matriarch is still living. All alone.
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She is not all alone. She has her family. I can't imagine what it would feel like to outlive all of my friends, but I would be sure glad I have family around that obviously love me enough to keep me home with them where I can live out my loooooong days. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes...not alone indeed :)
ReplyDeleteAs long as she is loved, your mother-in-law is not alone. She may not show appreciation for all of the love and kindness you give her. But when she is gone, you will be lonely. One doesn't give up years of their life without feeling loss. You will benefit so much for having helped to make the end of her life less difficulty. Goodness, like sunshine, warms the empty places of the heart so you will not think unkindly of her, because you had the deep capacity to care.
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