Small Victories?

My husband says to me, "So, you're right...and that means what? In all the years, my mother has lived here, you are now right. And, that changes what? What does it mean?"

I cringe thinking he is right and I am wrong--not so much wrong as self-evident, accurate and, of course, irrelevant. The matriarch was spitting out her cereal today and as I watched her, she looked up and watched my daughter. Was the child watching her back? No. Of course, I am surmising the reasons she looked up; there is no way I can confirm my thoughts. But, I think the matriarch knows she is spitting out her cereal because she doesn't want my daughter to watch her. The woman likes the sugary milk remnant in her bowl left after most of the "Sugar Crisp" has been eaten. She likes the sweet syrupy taste. And, she knows what she is doing. She doesn't want anyone to see her spit out the ends of her cereal, the bits and pieces she does not want to chew. Knowledge is Victory!

To what point, of course? Is she going to stop? No. Am I going to confront her? No. Does this knowledge in any way change anything? No. Do I still have to clean the mess up? Yes.

But, why do old people do this? I thought it was frustration; I thought it was an inability to chew; I thought it was instinct. Now, I know they, or rather the matriarch, just don't want to eat what's in their mouth and they spit it out. I wish she didn't. My husband wishes it wasn't his mother; life goes on and the matriarch is not a two year old one can discipline; I am a daughter-in-law stuck cleaning the mess up. Aaargh! And, while I wipe the table and and clear the bowl, I think to myself, at one point, this woman cleaned the mess after my husband when he was a child and my children will have to clean the mess after me and generations have come before and generations will come after....it is a never-ending cycle. Not that this information in any way helps me. I still hate cleaning it up. Probably always will.

And, anyone who thinks "Just don't think about it" must understand that is easier said than done.