Glad I Was Not There

So, the matriarch's sister-in-law came for a visit-not lunch, a sit-down, have a cup of tea, chat for the afternoon kind of visit. The matriarch was having none of it; they said they were going to take her out for lunch and she intended to go for lunch. Call it the tyranny of the old...and the selfish.

Fortunately, my husband, my children and I were not invited. Sometimes the silence in a house completely yours is just rejuvenating.

And, they got lost. I believe I have mentioned before that the sister-in-law is in her eighties, has had cancer recently and really, in my opinion though my husband from childhood recollection disagrees, has the patience of a saint. My husband drew a map of how to get to the fish'n'chip restaurant; his Uncle promptly misplaced it. The matriarch said not to worry, she knew how to get there. Yes, yes, I know we should have just gone along and had lunch with them and done the driving. Life sometimes conspires to make one do what has to be done. But, then, there are these moments when glances meet and a husband and wife silently agree: over our dead bodies, are we leaving this house.

They were gone for over three hours with the matriarch navigating their travel throughout the city of Barrie. She is blind, you know; you'd have thought the sister-in-law and husband would have given up or faked the place being closed...any excuse. But, God love them, they really did try. Of course, they failed miserably. And, the matriarch got mad at them and they left quite quickly after lunch at a nearby family restaurant.

It wasn't quite the same, you know. The matriarch told me. I knew where I was going. They just didn't listen.

I nod my head at her, trying very hard not to laugh. People often think if they were in charge, life would be so much easier. They could handle the matriarch better. I think not. She is just very old, I don't even know if she qualifies as "fragile elderly." The woman won't admit to being blind. She takes very mild dementia pills. She knows who the Prime Minister is, the date and how much money she has in her wallet. She refuses to leave the house for respite care. She is an individual and no one can take that role away from her no matter how difficult she may choose to make life.

The sister-in-law didn't phone when she got home. My husband figures the matriarch's birthday will be the last we will see of his Aunt. So much for respite opportunities.