My mother-in-law had lunch out Wednesday with my mother, with the children and me on Friday, with my husband on Saturday and with us again on Sunday. She wanted to go out again today. My cooking really isn't that bad; I don't think it is. Lunch is becoming a bit of an issue. The children and I are tired of eating out; it's getting expensive and, really, no matter how nice the place, there comes a point where one just wants to eat at home. Not the matriarch.
On the drive today, the matriarch got to talking about the snow, we've had a little, and how it is going to make driving treacherous. Not in a mood for pessimism, I told her she better not think so because I won't be going out if she (please note "she") thinks it's dangerous. The mother-in-law had to pause for a moment; she likes these daily drives. She has talked about the weather being good for the stevedores, about her first husband's sojourn in the military, about trips to Angus via hitch-hiking, about baking pies and using money to take a bus to Angus when her husband was in the military. I know she is getting confused, says odd things and repeats similar stories but changes the details of the plot-lines. But, I am not correcting her anymore and, therefore not frustrating her or myself. I spoke to a caregiver of someone with serious Alzheimer's and she suggested dealing with my mother-in-law as she is rather than correcting her. It will be hard ahead. I have to find the humour in this new reality.
I don't know what a stevedore is; the lunch routine will have to be changed; I can't rely on my mother-in-law's constancy anymore. Today, she wanted a brownie until my child made her tea and asked her to come and have the brownie...and the matriarch changed her mind. But, then, took it to her room and ate it anyhow. Such is age, I guess...
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A stevedore is one employed to load and unload ships, a dock worker.
ReplyDeleteChange the lunch routine; tell the Matriarch -now that winter is fast approaching- the cold weather is causing icy paths, too slippery; then, tell her that you are going to invite her to lunch at your home; make her favorite soup and favorite dessert, and give her some sweet item to take back with her to her room. Repeat the invitation every morning. Make life simple, as simple as possible for the Matriarch, and your self too. One cannot reason with a child under five, likewise with people over ninety. Whether or not she can see, make sure her favorite shows are on television, from morning to night.
Soldier on! But let your war be one of Salvation -the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction, etc.