Lunch with An Audience (and a Rant in conclusion, easily skipped)

Today, we went to Montanas and the children all said a prayer of "Thank you."  Chicken is no longer welcome in our home.

The matriarch has no teeth and that reality does not prevent the ambition to eat formerly favoured foods.  Today, my mother-in-law ordered a hamburger--no bun, she wasn't that ambitious--fries, a salad (don't ask where that desire came from, she can't chew lettuce), a fudge brownie sundae and tea.  We're not regulars at Montanas so the waitress, kind young woman, stayed in the periphery to watch the mother-in-law eat.  And, the matriarch knew she was there.  Remember the adage: Moms have got eyes in the back of their heads?  My mother-in-law knows what is going on behind her no matter what.  She ate every little bit of her lunch--no leftovers and then said to me, "I bet that girl wasn't expecting me to finish."  She was probably right.

There aren't a lot of seniors out and about like my mother-in-law.  Everyone can tell she is old and needs help but most people realize, after they have met her, she is healthy, opinionated and still independent in her thoughts.  Yes, she drives me crazy and the waves of dementia scare me but what do you do?  Put her in a home and pretend it's not happening or that staff are trained to make it more comfortable?  It is never comfortable to lose your mind; I think that frustration makes some seniors violent.  I don't know I am not a doctor.  Our family can do what we think is best in conjunction with what my mother-in-law wants and with which the doctors agree.  I know my mother-in-law would leave if she had a boyfriend who could still drive a car; going out for rides is her priority, it's nothing personal.

The fact nothing the matriarch does is personal is very hard to live with...I often can't get it through it my head.  Probably a number of my posts indicate my emotional confusion.  However, my husband and I do feel the fact the matriarch has personal care is what is keeping her healthy and alive.  Personally, I don't think you could buy that no matter the well-wishes of the home or the staff--but that is just my opinion.  And, my opinion is as respected as any other stay-at-home Mom who earns no income, has no pension and apparently is easily replaced with daycare and senior care institutions.  Just a bit of a rant...I won't get political again.