What is Life?

Yesterday, there was an appointment in the city; it was an event for my children, it was important to me, and it was for the better part of the morning. My mother-in-law cannot stay at home alone for extended periods of time; it is not that she gets into anything, it is the fact that she does nothing. She will not make herself lunch; she will not venture into the rest of the house; she will not turn the television set on. I gave her breakfast and put her drops into her eyes and I said good-bye; my husband was home for her lunch and a bit of a visit and then, he had to go. I was back home by 2. Over all, I did not think she was alone excessively; she disagreed. However, when I invited her to go shopping in the late afternoon, she declined; my two younger children stayed at home with her while I did the grocery shopping. Last night, the matriarch made the comment to me that yesterday was very hard on her; she didn't like being alone.

The thoughts of her being so alone have me stressed with guilt; although, over the course of the five hours I was gone with the children, my husband was there for one hour during the middle. It was broken up. But the idea brings to me the harsh reality that life is what one makes it. The matriarch resented the fact I was gone; however, most days, she sleeps for a couple of hours in the morning after breakfast, has lunch and retreats back to her room until I take her for a drive. Technically, the routine was no different; but, the matriarch was still angry. I cannot explain the reason to myself except to consider my mother-in-law wants me around all the time. I hate to think she wants me at her beck and call but I cannot think what else would be her reasoning. And, I have this awful thought at the back of my mind: after almost 100 years, this is what her life amounts to, having someone wait on her. That sounds so depressing, never mind judgmental.

But, then, I think of seniors in their old age homes, sitting in chairs, watching television, doing nothing and I wonder about my mother-in-law. She could do so much more and chooses not to participate; would seniors from other situations be so different? Our family life is really restricted because of my mother-in-law; the problems arise, however, when she takes our sacrifices for granted as though she is somehow entitled to have us around at her discretion. Maybe the old are hidden away in homes to escape this reality? I don't know. I do know the matriarch is looking forward to today: we are off for a drive to my parents' home, are doing lunch at a pancake house and the Oscars are on television this evening.