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Father's Day was also the matriarch's birthday; my husband had to work, one of the cars broke down and no one phoned. I felt so sorry for her.

We are taking the matriarch for dinner on Wednesday; her favourite restaurant is The Keg. My parents are coming but no other guests. I don't think she cares or, maybe, she does; but, here is a problem with old age and loneliness: when a senior, especially one with limited contact with the world, is given a vague invitation for dinner or lunch out, they tend to expect the invitee to follow through. And, they wait for them to do so.

I know people live busy lives and are forgetful but the matriarch sits in her room expecting to go for lunch or dinner with certain family members and she anticipates when the event will happen. It never does or the event is so rare the matriarch forgets that so and so at one time did come to visit. To be fair, the matriarch has never been one to visit other people, she has always expected them to come to her house and she has outlived more relatives and friends than can be listed, but it still feels sad. What makes it more sad, of course, is the matriarch's unwillingness to appreciate what is done for her. The children made strawberry shortcake, strawberry-rhubarb pie and butter tarts to celebrate a joint Father's Day-Birthday Afternoon Tea (an event shared with my Father) and I don't think she cared. Or, maybe, she did, but it didn't feel that way. I think she expected her nieces to phone, or her sister-in-law.

As she ages, the matriarch's hearing becomes more selective and her sight more focused; I can't say she is blind and deaf despite evidence to the opposite. Just when I think she can't see or hear, she goes and does something unexpected. But, the matriarch does often mention a visit to her sister-in-law's that is upcoming; I don't know when the invitation was extended, but the matriarch has her case ready for the moment the event happens. I know the sister-in-law has told the matriarch she asks too much of people when she visits, but I also know it possible for a visit to happen here. I can see the sister-in-law coming here to take the matriarch out for lunch. I doubt very much the matriarch will be going away for days again. But it is her enthusiastic anticipation for the possibility that makes me feel pity for her. I don't know if we ever admit to ourselves that we are old and that we are difficult and that some things just aren't going to happen.