The Thing About Strawberries

The children and I picked about 30 litres of strawberries the other day, 7 big baskets. And, the matriarch gorged on them and made herself ill. Then, she got mad at me for letting her eat so much.

When do the old no longer become responsible for their actions? Do they ever?

I have a hard time reconciling the matriarch's right to do what she wants as an adult and what she needs to do to stay healthy. I have no idea how I could have stopped her from eating so many strawberries; it is so easy to say, "Tell her there are no more."

It doesn't work that way. I didn't keep offering her berries upon berries. The matriarch asked for a bowl of strawberries with toast for lunch. Then, she asked for some more after dinner. Then, she wanted to take some up to her room to eat during the night. Of course, I said to her, "Maybe you should have something else..." She didn't want anything else. But I couldn't figure out how to say "NO."

There was an article about elderly abuse on the radio, children taking advantage of their elderly parents financially and children scaring their parents into acceptable forms of behaviour. I don't have sympathy for abuse but I can completely understand frustration. There is a paradox of aging: one gives up or loses one's independence verses the role of the wise fool; the old are supposed to know better than the young and, yet, sometimes, they can act like two year olds. So, I have frozen the strawberries and the matriarch says she won't eat anymore till the winter.