Family Dynamics in the Chili Sauce Wars

My husband is wondering where to scout out an industrial sized grinder with which to make chili sauce.

I beg your pardon? Who's making chili sauce?

My mother is going to teach your mother how to do it. Here in our kitchen.

I don't think so....Even your mother doesn't eat her own chili sauce.

It'll be good for the children. This way we will know what the chili sauce tastes like.

Why? No one eats it. No one eats it at all. I don't even think the kids want to have the recipe. I don't want it made in my kitchen.

Well, my mother won't go to your mother's house and we need a big grinder anyhow.

For what? I am not making chili sauce after your mother passes and salsa vegetables do not need to be ground up. We don't need it.

It gives my mother something to look forward to...and it won't hurt anyone.

This from the man who won't even take his mother for a drive?

(Scene: 1995, setting: a dark green jeep absent automated windows, characters: my husband and his mother, aged 83. "Do you want the window rolled down?" "Yes." Momentary wait. He gets out of the car, walks to her door, opens it and rolls the window down. They drive for a little bit. "It's too breezy, roll it back up." Stops the car, gets out, goes to her car door again and rolls the window up. Drives. "It's still too stuffy." Procedure repeated again with the window rolled partway down. Short drive occurs. Upon return, my husband vows never to take his mother for a drive again.)

Obviously, I am not going to get into a huge disagreement with my husband about this chili sauce; he wants a grinder, he can go find one. He wants the children to experience making chili sauce they don't eat with their grandmother who can't see and their other grandmother who can't hear--he can be the one to try to make it happen. I'll go to the city for the day, or the bookstore, or the library or the park or anywhere but here. I am not going to eat chili sauce; I am not going to make chili sauce; and I am not going to clean the chili sauce mess up. I have made it clear.