The Question of Chili Sauce verses Cuba

My mother took the matriarch out for lunch yesterday and my mother-in-law returned home inspired with the news my mother wants to learn how to make chili sauce. With the matriarch's recipe.

Now, I know my mother and I am sure she is willing to make chili sauce with the matriarch; I am sure they even discussed the opportunity. Even my husband thinks it would be a great idea for the two of them to make a batch of the stuff. He has always loved his mother's chili sauce. Of course, I am about to become the bad guy. Anyone else who has thrown out 50 (FIFTY) jars of anything made by someone who can't see helped along by someone else who really cannot follow directions is welcome to comment.

My mother-in-law's recipe is for 72 jars; she doesn't like to alter it because then you don't get the same taste. My mother will try to follow the mother-in-law's directions and she will get them wrong because, in the twenty years I have known my mother-in-law, she has never got the recipe to taste the way it did when my husband was young. My husband, inspired though he may be, doesn't eat the stuff. He says he will and he plans to and, when push comes to shove, really prefers my oldest child's homemade salsa. I will be stuck throwing it out. I don't like it and neither do my two younger children. You are being such a hard case about this, my dear reader is thinking, she is ninety-nine, where is the harm?

1) We are on septic. I guess I could throw it down the toilet but I don't think it would be a good idea.

2) We pay for additional garbage bags after a 1 bag limit; how much extra garbage could there be? Last time, there were four additional bags because sauce is heavy, not really big, but heavy.

3) Personally, I don't like buying bushels of tomatoes, onions, celery, and corn to throw away. It is food, for one. Secondly, I have to purchase it because my garden produce is already claimed by salsa-making child above who is completely supported by siblings. Did I mention no one in my family actually eats the stuff?

I want to let everyone think it is going to happen; the matriarch can happily anticipate making chili sauce in August. She could die before it actually happens. She is not dead yet I need only say and make the argument it is better to say no now than to disappoint her in the late summer. Despite predictions to the contrary, the matriarch is still alive and well and will make that chili sauce unless I put my foot down.

Whereupon, my family comes to the latest debate about Cuba. Before I begin, two facts must be accepted: we cannot afford to go to Cuba and insurance will not cover the matriarch's trip to Cuba. Yes, I know chances are the matriarch would be fine but, as our luck could have it, it would be a lovely place in which a ninety-nine year old could pass away. An old neighbour of the matriarch's called to discuss someone else's holiday to Cuba; they had a lovely time; the matriarch should go...Why is it people who do not visit feel free to make holiday suggestions to the very old? It is almost sadistic. The matriarch is pondering the suggestion.

My mother-in-law has mild senility. My husband says to treat her like a child and take nothing personally. The woman is still responsible for her own finances; she can still make her own decisions; she is, despite her age, a fully functional adult. Sometimes, the matriarch is like that bad roommate one cannot get rid of and is stuck cleaning up after. I can be the bad guy with chili sauce but someone (her son) is going to have to be clear about Cuba. It is not going to be me.