Habits of Charity

No one wants to die knowing there are no memories of kind acts. Unfortunately, a lot of people plan to do generous acts when they retire but die before they can. I don't think the matriarch even considers the possibility of her own death and our memories. Perhaps I am being judgmental, perhaps I am being realistic. My husband figures his mother could live another twenty years and think nothing of putting me in the grave--and that is not being ironic, just very sad. My mother-in-law lives in a constant state of "want." She is never happy with what she has and thinks the grass is always greener somewhere else. The new blood clinic, today, proved her thoughts wrong yet again as we went to an almost factory like clinic and she was treated decently but impersonally. Of course, this is what a home would be like. Though, she has visions of catered meals and friendly nurses and laundry done daily. How nice it would be if life could be like that.

Sadly, that is not what the average home is like despite the best intentions; it is generousity of spirit that makes the best homes excel. My mother-in-law does not have that kind of spirit; she waits to be catered to and fussed over and, I guess at 99, she has earned the right. But I cannot help but wonder what my mother-in-law was like when she was younger and had to take care of my husband's grandparents. They lived with his family for twelve years, rent free, and left when my husband's father asked for a hand with the expenses. I don't know why the family asked for the money; the house was paid for and there were no debts. But I think about that absence of the matriarch's unselfishness and wonder. Is it a habit that must be cultivated when younger?