Tired

As the matriarch gets older, she gets tired. Most nights, she goes to bed before 8:30. You can see in her face, she is physically exhausted--whether or not she has not done anything. Most days, the matriarch just sits in her room; I don't know what she actually does beyond sit but she is there. And, the fruit and sugar eating is completely out of control.

My husband made his mother lunch on Saturday and she complained there wasn't enough sugar. My husband being my husband poured a little over half the sugar bowl onto her fruit and silenced her. She ate it. But my husband, guiltily perhaps, told me he thinks it was definitely too much--his mother is more a less than half sugar bowl sort of person. This week I bought 2 pounds of sugar to see how it goes. I have been going to the store every few days to buy pounds of sugar because my husband didn't believe me when I said his mother was eating immense amounts of sugar. Now, he does. You would think the sugar would keep the matriarch hyped up. But she is still tired at night.

And, as for fruit, the woman really hasn't eaten dinner in a few days; she's eating plums, nectarines, peaches, bananas, strawberries and raspberries but no dinner of consequence. The matriarch does eat breakfast with cereal, toast, juice and tea. Is this what happens when we get old? We succumb to the sweetness and fibrousness of any fruit that is available and that we can chew? The matriarch peels everything and I constantly have to check for skins because she will leave them in her room and I am afraid of bugs. She is an adult and should know better. It's like she wants to be told to give me her peelings. On one level it is silly, but on another she is giving up her independence, her rights as an adult. The matriarch is waiting for me to make decisions for her. It can be quite draining constantly making someone else's life choices. She is not my child. Ultimately, my mother-in-law is a stranger I have grown to know instinctively but it is still weird for me. I wonder if it is like this for others? And, I always feel she is judging me despite her half blind eyes and lack of hearing--it is all so silly to be so insecure around an old woman who can do no harm.