A Debate With Anna Maria Tremonti

This morning, there was a great show on CBC's The Current about the current situation of baby boomers caring for their elderly parents; here is the web address:

http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/ April 22 show part 3

For the most part, I agreed with a lot of what was discussed; there is an inherent sense of obligation to take care of one's elderly parents. I mean that is what drives my husband and me to take care of his mother. The matriarch may drive me crazy but she is my husband's mother and she has that right--I don't want to get into mother-in-law jokes and the role of the wife, I feel a sense of duty to her. Enough said about the matriarch and me.

But, here is my problem with Anna Maria Tremonti's discussion on the radio: how do children who have been raised in institutions develop their familial obligations? Okay, no one wants to call daycares or schools actual institutions, but that is what they are, I think. But my thinking goes like this: if a child is cared for by people other than family members and is taught by people other than family members, how do they develop a sense of family obligation if, in fact, they have never actually, continually, had a sense of family?

I would think it would be easier for such children to institutionalize their elderly parents rather than care for them themselves. After all, it was what they have been taught. I mean already a lot of abuse already goes on in senior centres; seniors are medicated more often when they are in homes; although, I only have anecdotal evidence. But my point is, just as in schools with two types of children, there are two types of seniors: ones who have caring families and ones who don't. And, the ones who have caring families will do fine but the others....If a child has been left in unacceptable care, why would parents think or expect their situation in the future to be different? I think it unfair for society to be expecting children who have not been cared for to suddenly step up to the plate to care for their elderly parents.