It occurs to me, now and then, my mother-in-law is unaware of how old she is...I have been sick the past few days and she has been scared. She hates flu's and colds and any type of discomfort. And, I know I am being unfair...
My mother-in-law asked me if I had the Hong Kong 'flu. She had had it when my husband was a teenager and her husband had not been the most sympathetic of caretakers; because I am nasty, I asked who had taken care of her son while she was sick. The woman had to pause. I don't even think she had thought about her son while she was ill; he's been taking care of my children while I am in bed. But the thing is, despite her comments to the contrary, my mother-in-law does not want to die. I guess we never really want to succumb to our own deaths--even at almost 100. And, yet, is it so unreasonable to wonder why the woman would expect to continue living? First off, the matriarch is not sick--so, it's not even an issue in a sense; but, then again, she could die at any moment and one would think she would have reconciled herself to that possibility. I guess as humans we don't--I certainly never anticipate my own death and it is just as easy to die in a car crash as to fall asleep and never wake up; when one is due, one is dead. But, the matriarch just expects to keep on living--I don't know how she does it. My husband figures as long as his mother has something to hope for, she will continue to hope for it. She is looking forward to the Keg for his 60th in December. I didn't even know that was where he wanted to go--actually, neither did he, but that is where the matriarch plans to take him. So, she has plans for after Christmas which means she will be around for Christmas.
When one is sick and tired and the children are coming down with the 'flu, there is nothing like a cranky, 99 year old not wanting you near but still expecting the same daily treatments. My husband told her I was too tired to drive. She is not ill and we cannot get respite care; and her sister-in-law is out for the balance of the winter---oh well...life does continue.
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Your mother would willingly come and help to take care of your mother-in-law, and you while you are sick, and her grandchildren too. But you and your husband decided long ago to keep your family insular, even from her, your mother, and so she is now the last person on earth you would accept help from, except when you absolutely have no other choice.
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