Battle of the Spitoons

My mother-in-law spits out her food; it is gross and she does it more often when she is mad at me. But there is a kind of grace to it, too. She knows what she is doing and targets her hand or brings a spoon to her mouth to expel whatever food she doesn't want. She has no teeth so, usually, the food is not really chewed up and expelled. It is not like a mass of mushy projectiles shooting across the kitchen table. Most of the times, the food is left to the side of her plate or on a side dish; rarely, is it left on the table. Now my husband was discussing this with a colleague. As an aside, I would love to know how this came up in general conversation. However, the fellow worker told my husband, she hates going to eat with her mother in a home because of the rain shower of expelled food. I cannot imagine letting a family member face this everyday. We don't talk about the fact my mother-in-law spits out food; it is like the elephant in the room everyone walks around rather than admit is there. But we all know the matriarch does it and, when we go out, the matriarch has been known to use a napkin and, once, embarrassingly, to have dropped something on the floor.

My husband has, once or twice, given his mother a paper napkin to use. But no one has ever come right out and said to her, "Please use a napkin." It is not like putting a bib around a baby; my mother-in-law is fully aware of what she is doing. Which makes me wonder about the home... Assuming most of the residents do not have Alzheimer's, what is with the spitting out of food? I associate it with anger, displeasure and, generally, my mother-in-law's contempt; despite what she says about my cooking, most of the food I make her is softer for her to chew; she eats a lot of soups and stews. Do not ask me how she gets chips down her but she does not spit out food in her room--whatever kind of food it is. I deal with her garbage so I know. I wonder about seniors generally. Although I have heard this whole sugar thing is not as uncommon as I thought.