The Indignity of Being Old

The matriarch gets asked out a lot for lunch; people phone me to see if I need a break and volunteer to take her out. It is very generous towards me and terribly rude towards the matriarch. But for her sister-in-law, not once has someone phoned the matriarch and invited her to lunch. When I relay invitations, the matriarch always says no. She does not need to be babysat; she resents the fact people assume I am her guardian; she is an individual deserving of some respect. I think people who have never dealt with old people as individuals fail to see that their identity remains intact despite what happens to their body. It is awful watching an old lady age before my eyes, each day I see her body shrink a little bit more but I know every comment and opinion my mother-in-law offers to me is a reminder there is still a person in that very old, withered body. Sometimes I wish that when people are kind to me, they would be kinder to her.