Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Weddings and Dresses
This weekend, we go to my friend's wedding. The children are in the wedding party and I am the maid of honour and my mother-in-law told the hair dresser yesterday she wanted a new dress. I did not know. She told my husband last night. The matriarch told my husband in a curious way: she wondered why I didn't take her dress shopping to buy a new dress. This wedding has been a bit of an odd situation; everyone is over 40 and it is a first marriage and there is very little direction and I, honestly, didn't even think about taking my mother-in-law out to get a new dress. She has been invited because she lives with us and my friend is doing me a favour; my husband couldn't come if his mother hadn't been invited. We can't leave her alone for extended periods of time. Anyhow, the matriarch did not tell me she wanted a new dress and, now, I feel awful. But to make matters worse, what can I do? Money is an odd issue--the matriarch wants a new dress in the $5.00 range. I guess it is part of the mild dementia but I don't know where to get a $5.00 dress--even the dresses at Goodwill are beyond that price. So, the matriarch is wearing a royal blue and black outfit which is really quite nice but not new. And, she keeps making digs about how the dress is not new. I can take her shopping on Friday after the hairdressers for the children and barbers for my husband; but, right now, it seems no matter what I try to do I fail someone. Plus, and this is like the cherry on the sundae, my mother-in-law is going on about her sight again. It's not going to change, she reminds me, and I am left to agree with her. It's not going to change and there is not a thing the doctor can do; so, if she did get a new dress, she would be relying on my opinion and it would be a set up. There is no pleasing her. I can't imagine what she wants because I can't make her see again, I can't choose a dress I know for sure she will like, I know this wedding is going to take a lot out of her and I can almost guarantee she is not going to enjoy it ( the food will be too tough, the desserts won't be enough, she won't like the music...) and I feel sometimes I try so hard only to disappoint.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Don't feel like You disappoint, that's a defeatists attitude, and You are by no means a Defeatist! -Whatever you do, someone else is made happy, and someone else is made... you catch my drift. Live by the Golden Rule and you won't offend the most important person in all of this YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, buy your mother-in-law a dress that fits, in the color that suits, and tell her that she looks well; gussy her hair, do her nails and tell her she looks well; and at the wedding, tell her she Will like the meal and LOVE the desserts; and if the music is not to your liking, use your mother-in-law as an excuse to leave early.
Do gussy yourself to the hilt, because preening always makes a woman feel good. Think positive about everything and everything will go great; and if they don't, because you are in such an upbeat positive mode, you won't notice a thing!
PS. Your friend the bride, who is over 40, is soon to be a daughter-in-law to her husband's elderly mother too! Now imagine that!
Oh my but doesn't that sound familiar... we all have our own reality. The clouds always pass more quickly when we look to see what good the rain brings and how beautiful the night sky is with so much reflected light. Try to remember times when the light burned more brightly, laugh at your lessons when you realize them and be gentle with yourself. JM
ReplyDelete