Who Does the Dishes?

My mother-in-law still thinks it's a privilege for the children to wash dishes with in-door plumbing.  Right now, there are tears happening as the children fight it out to see who washes the dishes.  We're Luddites; we don't have a dishwasher.  And, it can become a loud event as the debate ensues over whose turn it is.  The matriarch went upstairs disgusted; she even used the term to the children.  You know you would think she would understand they are just children.  But her remarks silenced the arguments.  They were unfair.  I let my husband deal with her because I was afraid I would say something inappropriate.  It's not like she ever offers to help and I understand it because she is 98; but why she wouldn't offer the same understanding to my children? 

As the arguing interrupts into louder terms of unfairness, I think of my mother-in-law and her Victorian Attitude: children should be seen and not heard.  I think the matriarch misses a lot because she doesn't let the children talk.  They have such interesting things to say.  Even as they argue, my children are laughing with and at each other; my husband knows he has no control and finds it kind of funny, too.  If it was all anger every weekend, it wouldn't resolve itself; and, it does.  And, it will happen again next Saturday, despite the calendar and the schedule...they are kids.  My poor mother-in-law, parenthood came late to her and I think grandparenthood has also missed its chance.