Saturday, September 12, 2009

Sex and the Single Senior

Setting: lawyer's office, 10 years ago.
Characters: my mother-in-law, my husband and me. And, the lawyer.  First three characters are
anxious, nervous, one is fidgety.  The lawyer is a stereotype for a small city sort of lawyer in a Canadian
province.
Plot: A divorce consultation.
Dialogue:
Lawyer: Are there any grounds we can use to say this wedding was out of the ordinary?
Husband cringes, mother-in-law looks from lawyer to son.
Mother-in-law: What do you mean?
Lawyer:  I mean are there extraordinary grounds to say this marriage could be nullified?
Mother-in-law: What do you mean nullified?
Lawyer (finally getting awkward): Was this marriage consummated?
Husband looks away, a deep shade of red.
Mother-in-law: Well, I don't know.  We were married in the normal kind of way, but he wasn't very sexy.
Lawyer momentarily looks relieved: So, we could process this easily with non-consummation.
Mother-in-law (continuing to speak despite lawyer): Do you mean did we have sex?  Cause we did have sex,
             he just couldn't a lot, you know....
light fades as she continues to speak and husband gets redder and redder....

Seniors have sex and despite her age, my mother-in-law would love to have a boyfriend, a companion.  I don't know if she would still have sex, if she would still be capable.  I do know when she got married sixteen years ago, she had something of a sex life.  I know more than I like to know.  However, when I took her for her drive yesterday, we got to talking about her lack of a social life.  It never occurred to me she would miss male companionship.  Till she moved here, my mother-in-law went to regular card nights and socialized.  It may not have been important to her, at the time, but the routine of those nights with people her own age and with the opposite sex are something she misses.  She has told me of a number of men she encountered while at cards; most of them were impressed with her cooking.  One man asked her out and when he realized she was 10 or 15 years older than him, he chose not to go out with her.  My husband, albeit embarrassed, is completely rational about his mother and social situations.  Any man who may be interested would lose interest once he realized how old she was; it wouldn't be personal, just a precaution against becoming intimate on any level with someone who could die at any moment.  My mother-in-law has actually outlived 2 companions since her divorce: 1 died of a heart attack and the other in a car accident.  But I guess sitting in her room, choosing not to participate with us, isn't necessarily a sign she doesn't want something.  Everyone at all ages, I guess, truly wants a friend.

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